Ramblings of the Wingnut

So its taken some time for me to update my blog. Why/ I had some stuff to do – lots of stuff to do. Basically, move back from sunny Palo Alto to moggy, humid, hot Boston. Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with Boston, quite the contrary, Boston is an amazing place to be,. Let me put it this way, if you were to date Sandra Bullock; you’d be pretty damn happy – unless you dated Jessica Alba first.

So let me see if I can try to quickly recap my last couple of weeks. I’ll type quickly so you have something to read when you start reading (go figure). In any event, I flew back on a Friday night a few weeks back – nothing spectacular on the flight thankfully (rather unusual yes, I know) all ready for the 8 hour course I had to do the next day. Yes, I know – shut it. Anyway, as you may have know I decided to shave my head. Now, having a fauxhawk (that’s actually the name of the hairstyle I had, I actually thought it was the “I don’t give a crap about what I look like” haircut) and cutting it down realy short is not the best idea when your room mates need to fetch you at the airport since the never noticed me – actually, hey! They did notice me, but decided not to see me! Sonofa…

So I got back at about 10:30/11 pm and spent another couple of hours speaking to my room mates. Finally at about 2, I decided to go to sleep. Now for those that don’t know (and I mean you in SA, in particular), SF Is 3 hours behind Boston; hence Jetlag. Eventually after tossing and turning for an hour and a half and an incessant feeling of being irritated/itchy. I decided to turn the lights on. Now usually, that’s not a big deal, I mean that’s the plan right – get comfortable before you go to sleep. Then imagine my surprise when I turned on the lights. Bugs. Red bug. Red blood sucking, bugs. And lots of them, with friends.  Apparently the itching was these little Bed Bug Bastards (BBB) gnawing my shins off. Fun. Strike 1.

Strike 2 was having to sleep downstairs on the couch (where I have been for the last 2 weeks) while waiting for the beg killers to kill the BBB. Especially with the temperature being like 85/90 degrees (like 28 centigrade) in the evening and not being able to open the friggin windows completely – apparently the housing complex is concerned someone may throw themselves out the front window and scrape their knee while they roll onto the pavement (I actually removed this constraint today – let the rolling begin!)

Before I left SF, I got a tablet PC. What an awesome investment. And cheap! It’s an HP (no worries buddy!), but an older model (2005), but still good enough. My rationale was simple (like I am – simple) and it was really a tool where I could take down notes for class and increase my productivity. I know you’re saying  “just get a notepad!”, but that’s not kool… and I can’t read Ebooks on it, which I seem to have a bunch of.  Sound pretty good? It is, except I managed to crash the drive. Yes, apparently you’re not supposed to touch a PC that is going into hibernation mode or it spazes out on you and dies.  The worst part is that I am still doing an internship and lost some work on it. Sigh. No I look more incompetent than I really am – not to say that I wasn’ to start with. Strike 3. And out (just like the Redsox- the Baseball team in Boston, except I may win)

So another weekend, another exciting time. What did the Wingnut get up to, I hear you say in anticipation?

Well… Strap in your seatbelt, here we go –

My weekend started early (Thursday) , but don’t tell my boss, I told them I was working “remotely” like from afar. Not like by control. That sounded funnier in my head. I headed up to near Lake Tahoe with a mate of mine again and went to a very kool lodge. Only 12 family members (not like 12 people, like 12 families). Great place – huge land and lots to….um…walk…and we walked…well the next day we did (Friday). And got burned. Fun. Stupid ball of orange stuff in the sky. We did a 3 mile hike or so and went to a couple of diving pools.

Now for those of you that don’t know. I have a fear of heights. Like Danny Di Vito. Same kinda fear. And we were diving off rocks that got progressively higher. First maybe 3 metres, then right up to 15. Ugh. Stupid brain; trying to convince me that height is bad. Anyways, I am proud to say I jumped from the 15 metres….twice…and only wept….once…manly, I know.

Saturday was chilled. Just drove to Tahoe. Another kool place. Big property with a train. Yes. I train. One you can sit in, well barely. It was awesome… I suddenly understand why some people like trains. But I don’t like them that much – I prefer fire. Cant wait till I have employees….muhaha…And a ride on the lake, and swimming in the lake. A cold lake. Colder than Tahoe (oh, did I mention Lake Tahoe was cold? It is. Cold like Patricia De Lille. Or rather (for Americans) Hillary Clinton), yes. Cold. Did I day it was cold?

Sunday. We had it in our head to see if we could apparently kill ourselves. 7 mile (that’s about 13 km’s) hike UPHILL on a MOUNTAIN. In 2hours 45. Don’t judge me. It wasn’t that easy. And it was worse with the damn mosquito’s playing tag with my head. At least the part when my mate tried to kill me made me forget about the mosquito’s – when we scaled down a 90 degree side of the mountain. OK, not 90 – 83 degrees , or at least that’s what my brain told me (remember: heights are bad in my hamster driven brain). I think he thought it was funny. Me weeping and sliding on my ass like a dog with an itchy crack. But I made it. Alive and emotionally scarred, the best combination. Then a 6 hour drive back to Palo Alto.

Monday (I was “working” remotely” J ) but in San Francisco. I met up with Zorba the greek. No, his name isn’t Zorba, but he is greek. Anyways, a buddy from SA flew to the US and was in San Francisco, so I met up with him and his wife – Mrs Zorba, rather Zorbarette. We walked. Again. Ugh. Stupid legs are not as young as they used to be – especially the knees. Anyways, we walked toward the Golden Gate, but good thing we never made it the whole way – we’d still be walking! Instead we found our way to a museum shaped in Roman architecture style. You know – pizza. No, no. Roman columns, Domes, that kinda stuff. Pretty kool.

After that we just kinda ambled round the city – China town, financial district, and the highest point in the city. Now if you have never been to San Francisco, walking the city entails climbing hills. Steep ones. Ugh. So again. Legs take a beating. Craig weeps. But it was worth it – seeing the city, particularly the Golden gate Bridge and Alcatraz. Feels like home…

For dinner, we moseyed over to Pier 39 for Italian food then on the way home found an awesome street artist. He was painting with Lacquer, not liquor. That’s not art, that’s a lifestyle some of you may say. Anyway, using spray cans. Very very talented, better then the crappy 2 squares on a wall depicting the artists pains or some rubbish like that. These guys are really talented. Using only spray paint, cardboard and offcuts they made unbelievable pictures of the San Fran skyline. Amazing.

By that stage I had missed the bus/train/bicycle ride home – yes, in that order. An so stayed over in SF. Sleeping on the floor is supposed to be good for you. Like Broccoli good. Anyway, straight from the city to work this morning and I have been here all day typing this so you know what I did this weekend – at 7:28pm, now that’s dedication.

This past weekend was a really kool experience. A friend from Washington flew up here to San Francisco and together with my other mate we all did a trip to Napa valley. Napa is the Yanky doodle equivalent of Stellenbosch, except in, well the U.S. Now I know what you’re thinking - “You don’t drink: in fact the last time I saw you drink you turned redder than Hugh Grant with his pants down, and twice as sheepish”. Yes. True. But it was the experience. I figure (and this is only as I’ve gotten older) memories cannot have a price attached, nor should they be missed if it puts you out of your comfort zone. Pretty deep huh? Yes, it’s true. Wine apparently makes me more intelligent. It is interesting to see how much alcohol I would need to drink to get a double digit IQ.

Beautiful place, Napa. But very similar to Stellenbosch. Anyway, we hit the road at 8:30, got to Napa around about 10:30 and started the wine route (yes mom, we had a driver). 8 wine farms in day. Now I didn’t do the tasting per se, but did sample from my “paying friends”. Yes. I’m cheap. Or rather a cheap drunk. By lunchtime I was toasty. But that’s cos it was 100 degrees - I’m not kidding 100 degrees Fahrenheit, about 38 degrees centigrade (see learn all kinda science stuff that you too can use to impress your friends with). The best part about lunch was being the only table eating sandwiches in the sun. While everyone else was in the shade, I could see my skin starting to cook - and strangely enough, smell pork cooking.

After lunch, I finally did my full wine tasting - and good timing. 9 wines, as opposed to the usual 5…Anyway. I said I would, and did. But shouldn’t have. Things kinda get blurry after that. Something about dancing, no clothes, and a Llama. But on we soldiered to the last 3. I didn’t drink at the last one, and for my sins I had to speak to a bachelorette party. Again, I did. And maybe shouldn’t have. The next thing I know, we’re at dinner sending a glass of champagne over to the bride to be - pretty smooth I know. Apparently alcohol not only makes me smarter, but also more sophisticated, gentlemanly and interesting. How’s that for an endorsement for drinking!

The evening was pretty kool though. My friends and I (pretty lucky to have great mates like them) had a great time. We ended it by dropping my one friend back at the hotel at 10:30 - apparently drinking for 12 hours straight isn’t good for you and then the 2 of us remaining going out to the town (”coincidently”) at the same place the bachelorette party was at - honest (would I lie to you?! C’mon) Anyways after another hour or so (I was sober at this point), it was time to go home. Alcohol had finally won and sleep time beckoned. All in all a good night. Except for not…. (you fill in the end) …. till next time…

2 Days at work, and I’m proud to say that I am yet to p*ss anyone off, cause too much crap or have any confrontation – though there was that one incident about the pencil sharpener. Yes I am working here in Palo Alto, the heart of Silicon Valley. Much like the heart or something else silicon in many actresses front end. It’s a good company, but according to my employee contract I can’t mention anything about the company in the public space – no I don’t work for the FBI/CIA/Madonna. Just that American’s are really protective (sic. Paranoid) regarding a lot of things like privacy and information sharing, good thing I’m not American! I can say that I’m working on an environmental project management software tool that seeks to bring together environmental practitioners so that they can share best practice and elevate the understanding and preservation of nature to the benefit of the next generation. Yes, I am brainwashed. Also, I like to think that it show the gentler side of me – the side that wants to save the world, before I enslave it.

I was thinking about it with a friend , what shall I call the country I control 1^st? Craigtopia? Craigville? Craig world? Craigmunda? Nah, the best one of the lot (courtesy to my genius friend) – Craigbabwe! The land where dreams are crushed, people are beat down and the dark emperor Wing rules with an iron fist – not too dissimilar with the real Zimbabwe, me thinks.

San Francisco is nice. Much better than the crappy weather in Boston, where it rains 360 days of the year, one for every degree that Spain will run around Bafana Bafana in the upcoming Confederations cup game. But to be honest, its not too dissimilar to South African weather – but without the mid afternoon, Highveld thunder storms – how I miss those. And its supposed to be the best weather in the U.S here, I guess as South African’s we don’t really realize how good we got it. Or get it. Huh?

Anyways, so I will be homeless in 1.5 week. Since the place I was supposed to stay at fell thorough, something about narcotics on campus not allowed and guns? How am I supposed to pass those stringent tests? I’m looking now for something more accommodating, like a brown box.

By the by, I went past the Garage where Hewlett Packard started, and where Silicon Valley was born. It’s been declared a national heritage sight or monument – kinda like Nelson Mandela square in Sandton, but with less pigeon poop. Kool though to see the little green garage, and to be honest I never knew that HP was where Silicon Valley started. Thanks HP – now that you have enslaved mankind to technology, I have an example to follow. Now if only I could get my mind control death ray to work.