Ramblings of the Wingnut

So you may have been wondering what has happened to me. One word – terrorists. No that’s what Americans blame everything on – the weather, the economy, the long queues at McDonalds, the soggy fries after waiting for 23 seconds at McDonalds. No, no the real word is MBA.

Second year is supposed to be much easier, and in all honesty it is. Its just that dumbass here has taken on a lot of extra stuff to keep him occupied – cos I needed more stuff to do. So what did I do? Stuff..and lots of it. For starters what seemed like a genius idea of picking subjects where there are no exams, has come back to bite me in the ass, just like that scraggy, stray dog you kicked on the way home from school. And now I have more work than I need. That’s cos its more TEAM work – strangely enough even there is no “I” in team, “I” seem to be very busy. Maybe I just used that saying wrong. So meetings every week. To give you a sampling, theres been 2 interviews, one project/business pitch, 2 deal books (actually 3 – but mine makes no sense) and a role play with a schizophrenic professor that takes on the role of several people in a company. And to think there are people out there that are put into asylum for that.

Beside that being chief of the Babson village has me running around like the village idiot – like that do you? Managing, supervising and, dare I say it, babysitting. Yes. Oh well, I guess its one of those things you learn – learning point – don’t be a chief unless you get concubines or a horse or bodyguards or at least a sword…a sword…like pirate sword…ooooh…. Ugh, but I digress. I was also honored to be selected as part of Ashoka’s (www.ashoka.org) new partnership with universities to give social entrepreneurship more visibility and not social like going out to clubs and bars – that would be socializing entrepreneurship. I’m talking about entrepreneurship where output is measured in terms of benefit to humanity as opposed to green notes with presidents faces on them (in SA we have pictures of animals, lion, water buffalo, cheetah, baboon – no that’s Julius Malema. I guess its cos animals last longer than presidents in Africa).

So yes, I am back in my native Zamunda. Its good to be back home amid the taxi’s, reconstructed roads with lanes the size of 5 sheep tied side to side, winter veld (note to American’s: that’s a field, think prairie) fires and warm weather. Yes. The winter days here are as pleasant as the summer months in Boston, though to be fair; in Boston the sun isn’t likely to leave you blackened and charcoaled, and is less intense in heat (like a soldering iron in the eyeball, no that’s if you stare at the sun).

Year one done. Check. What did i say on my last post? Malema is a JZ mini me, or is that mini “zee”? No, I wanted to say it, but didn’t cos Julius might have demanded that I rephrase it to deputy or small person or um… Junior J. No wait. I’ve digressed…and lost my train if thought. It actually derailed way back, just after it picked up that shipment of illegal Mexican workers, without the oink oink cough cough. What’s up with that? I mean – if the American’s are right, Mexican’s don’t do an any work, so how can their flu do anything either?

Anyway, back in SA is good. Though I must say that this past year in Boston has been really an experience and opened my eyes to the wonders of the Golden Arches. Sorry, if I never made time to see you on my short trip – either you don’t mean that much to me (yes, I saw my mother), I owe you money, or you are an ex girlfriend, so both of the previous statements hold in that case.

Back for 2 weeks – then off to Ghana (Note to American’s: that’s another country in Africa – like Kenya and Zimbabwe (aka Uncle Bobtown), South Africa and East African and North Africa and West Africa and Nigeria and Egypt and Zamunda and Africaland (note to South African’s: that will confuse them!) but no I don’t know that person you once met in Cameroon), where I have been doing pro bono work for the last year (I wonder if Bono from U2 does Pro Bono work whenever he says “yes”) as a business consultant to a school. Anyways, I’m doing a one day workshop on why African Entrepreneurs are well placed to be the best since they are used to working with scarce resources (money), poor working conditions (internet) and political interference (Uncle Bob). And I get to feel good that I’m doing some good by giving back to the children (Cue Michael Jackson: Heal the world).

From there, I’m flying onto San Francisco for a summer internship for a kick donkey company called Benetech. Really sweet place. They use technology to solve societies problems (I suppose that’s like people who designed braces for the English) and humanitarian problems (like the clever machines who designed tinted sunglassed to hide hangovers for finance lectures). I’m pretty lucky actually to get an internship and Benetech really does do good things for man kind – Ahhh…I can hear Michael again…. (P.S. remember that single ladies, I may be poor and hard on the eyes, but at least I have a good heart – like Shrek, but not as green, or as ogre-ish…ok not as much)

Well, its time for bed – even though jetlag sucks. Yes. I realized an MBA is like having jetlag for a whole year, except without the joy of the tiny bag or peanuts, terrible movies and fat dude who drools and keeps you awake on the plane. Wow. Another week and I get to experience that again. I better take my medicine now to keep me from being too overjoyed. No doubt, I will once again sit next to Jabba the hutress) in front of “Shaky the nervous kicker” and be surrounded by babies crying their lunges out testing the shattering point of reinforced windows at 30,000 feet. Ugh. Maybe, I’ll just shoot myself with an elephant tranquilizer…twice…

Another eventful chapter draws to a close on my Babson adventure. What exciting tales of wonder do I have to share – well read on.

For starters, I’m really honored to have been elected as President for the class of 2010! Yes, I hear your groans as you wonder what kind of lies I spread to get me elected – none. Not a thing. I never relied on any kind of political mumbo-jumbo-anti-corruptiono-“get out of jail free card”. I really meant what I said. Essentially during my term I hope to accomplish two main things: greater community at Babson across all programs (there are four if you have been keeping track – one for each of JZ’s wives; no can’t be that many) and also a greater representation for all programs on the student council. Think of that like the republic, except with Ewoks on and lizard dudes in the big ball sphere thing. Don’t try understand, only if you’ve seen it will you understand it.

Anyway, so yeah. It’s a real honor and privilege to be able to be able to serve the Babson community. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be though? Where a “government” is elected to serve its people, not the people to serve the government (SA political parties take note). There are a really excellent bunch of guys (and gals) working with me on the student council and I’m really looking forward to working and learning from them, both professionally and personally. So that was the highlight. Yes, beware any readers from the class of 2011…I am insane and not afraid to use it.

The lowlight was I never got this McGowan scholarship. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset – I am. It would have helped financially a heck of a lot and I have no idea how I can, now, afford to sell two kidneys – sigh. Personally, I thought I had a great chance of getting it. Beside the fact that I never got it, it seems like the process was um…..how do I put this diplomatically – Zuma’esqued. None of the panel have ever taught me and so how could they have made an unbiased decision? Maybe that actually counted in my favor! Anyways, I just need to look forward. Not sure how I’m gona pay for next year, I was really banking on this scholarship – and I’m almost all out of internal organs.

And so now we come to the ….well we covered, highs, lows…so what’s left… teethmarks? Yes. I am not kidding. Well, that’s if ticks have teeth. Yes, stop your damn laughing. I got bitten by a tick. And it was bloody painful – especially having to pull it off and screaming like a girl – sure my neighbors were startled, after all, no girl has ever set foot in my place.

So I got this little bloodsucker, while trouncing in the woods while chasing after a soccer ball. And damn it was painful, especially the chunk of flesh the little bugger took with him. Last laugh with me though, I’ll bet he didn’t know I’m from Africa and prob caught way worse than he gave! Muhahaha…Anyways, I’m pretty sure I don’t have lyme disease, though strangely enough the symptoms are the same as doing an MBA – fatigue, insanity, joint pains (that’s from the soccer). Who knows. My only hope is that this was one of those kool radioactive ticks – then I’ll have superpowers. Though I’m not sure what powers I’ll get from a tick – maybe the ability to suck blood (though my ex’s already have that power)…or maybe I can hold onto stuff and climb walls and stuff…that would be kool….

Yes. I made it! Norovirus 2009 came and went. This will be remembered globally alongside the world changing events, in years to come, that include the Great hamburger patty shortage of ’72, the Lack of flying Penguins over Southern Iraq of ’87, Bad hairstyles of the 80’s scandal of ’89, Southerly Migration of Michael Jackson’s nose in ’94, the 2001: Millennium and one bug in ’01 (duh!) and the Not enough letter “P’s” on keyboards crisis in ’08.

To be honest. The two days off class were kool. But the making up for the missed two days of classes sucked more than the ending of Lady in the water (yeah, I know this is old – I don’t have time for movies, or T.V, or fun, or life….) In any event, I’ll give credit to Babson and the staff for how quickly they acted in the midst of this “outbreak” – if only SA’s legal system worked this quickly.

Speaking of which – seriously?! On a technicality? Zuma has his charges dropped? That’s like saying that the litmus paper to test the Sulfuric acid that burnt my hand was creased. That doesn’t change the fact that the ITS ACID and that my hand is now disfigured. Hmm…..a more appropriate analogy than I had initially thought. But seriously?! What the heck. And now I bet he goes on to be the president. And besides the 836 corruption charges (or something like that), views on HIV/Aids (Note to Americans: In a historic study by Bra Zuma (Bra – means brother, not something to hold a boob; and when I say boob – I mean idiot, like in Zuma: that’s a circular reference) getting rid of HIV is pretty simple, rinse, lather, wash, repeat), lack of education and rather scary resemblance to a dehorned Rhino – the bigger question is: What do we call his wives? First lady, second lady, third lady, etc… Does that make them “Skewed right and the seven chores?” (think of another word beside chores that I could use, but not for the children and sensitive viewers).

Anyway, so back to Beaverland. It was the 2^nd Buffoonary night – where MBA’s gather in jest and joke to make fun of all and sundry in a light hearted and cheerful manner. What is really means, is that this is one of two nights when you can really say what you think of your peers and they need to laugh at it. And yet again…I am thought of as Australian. Sigh. Thereafter, a new tradition of Xplosion and socializing, drinking and dancing till the early hours when the cops will shut you down for making too much noise – all in a day’s work.

In other news, the Wingnut is running for class president. Yes. And I am taking it seriously. Yes. Stop it – I can hear you giggling from there. All the candidates for all the positions running for the student council are very well qualified. I based my message on 2 things – more community amoung programs (the additional numbers at least give me a chance to meet some females who can stand to be in my presence for more than 48 seconds) and better representation across the programs (unlike the elections, where I assume the government – as a representative sample – will show that SA is a nation of criminals, morons, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker led by a hornless rhino).

I hope that I am wrong (about SA – not my campaign message at Babson). I really do. I often am, except when I think I’ve failed an exam – then I wish I was wrong. This is a pivotal point in SA’s history, possibly as significant as our 1^st democratic elections in ’94. I hope that Mr. Zuma is surrounded by good people and has the leadership, wisdom and morals to lead SA…Or else maybe we need to wait till 2049 when the Wingnut will run for President and complete his plan for world domination. Only time will tell.

So yeah. Spring Break. And now it’s over – One week, thanks. That’s about it…

OK, so there was more. I went down to New York with a buddy of mine – yes, I have made friends with American’s – don’t shun me. They’re people too. In fact with what I read about the world today, I would say that these Americans at Babson are OK. Not the prime rib on the menu, like the sirloin, but defiantly better than the all you can eat ribs, especially when you can’t even see they’re ribs (yes, I have eaten random pig parts at all you can eat ribs buffet).

New York is fun….um….different….interesting…and still the same from the last time I was here (see a previous entry – I’d say which one, but I’m too damn lazy to reference it for you). I got to meet my mates god sister and some friends and it was great. Unfortunately I also realized just how totally untrendy I am. Me and my flannel jacket, corduroy jacket white socks, black shoes and 1955 dogfighter helmet are just so out of touch. At least I know why I am a social outcast – any here I thought it was cos of a lack of personal hygiene.

After New York we drove Niagara Falls. That’s far. Like the distance from Jack Black’s right hip to his left across the front of his belly – that far. 7 hours far. Then one night there and another 8 hours back to Boston. To make matters worse those damn Canadians wouldn’t let me into Canadia without a Visa to see the Niagara Falls from their side. Sheesh. No wonder the Americans see them like we see the Zimbabweans. Nice people (well those that stay their side of the border), but damn….they give us in Southern Africa a bad rep.

And now back to work. Yes, the start of the final mod an already I’m 100 pages, a valuation an entry strategy into China for Coca Cola – welcome to the land of no sleep yet again. P.S. To you new Babson kids reading this – don’t be scared. It’s ok. If I of all people can do it (and you’ll get to know me better soon enough), you can. I over dramatize everything – or do I…..MUHAHAHA…

P.S. He’s just a friend. Nothing special just cos we went to NY, Niagara, and shopping and listened to “The Fray”…just friends…nothing more….I still (and always have and always will) like girls….so shut it….

So that’s 13 hours done of the 28 hour marathon of patience and fortitude. More importantly, it’s a battle to keep from giving in to the murderous tendencies welling inside of me for a certain someone. Yes, you read about them in an earlier note, and dang it, it doesn’t get worse than this…I cant stand it. Please if you’re reading this, send some kind of support anything will do that I can give to this poor soul to help reach out to them. Anything, Dick and Jane popup books, Dr. Seuss, chewable alphabet anything to help this person out of the depths of stupidity. It must be so hard being that solitary brain cell.

So yes…I am a celebrity. To all those that thought I wouldn’t amount to anything – Nanananan (also strangly similar to one of my prof’s – hmmm….I wonder…). OK, so being mentioned Highveld (to US readers: that’s a local radio station that translated to English mean high field –yes, we name radio stations after things we see, like radio meer cat, airwaves flowing river and oh-crap-there’s-a-pointing-a-gun-at-me-through-my-BMW-broadcast), but it’s a start. Soon the world will be mine.

Until that time, however, I need to concentrate I need to study for exams. Yes, its that time of the year that all MBA students fear – no not being confronted for their lack of knowledge on anything other than how to insert scatter plots in Powerpoint and adding trendlines, I mean: exams. Not just any exams, the mother of exams, the “Jennifer Lopez ass” of exams - finances. Yes, dear reader tomorrow (and yet I have time tell you about this) I will be writing valuations and marketing. That joy will be extended to a 24 hour exam on organizational behavior and finally by operations and strategic cost systems the following week. Fun. As much fun as listening to Paris Hilton start a music career, oh gees, I’m glad my ears stopped bleeding from listening to that.

The best part of exams is watching everyone crack (not take crack, I am not Naomi Campbell), especially that pregnant girl. Now I’m not sure why she’s studying so hard, it’s not like she needs to get double the marks cos she’s get to pass for two. Maybe she’s just crazy. That’s more like it. Crazy. I mean you’d think that with two brains she could actually study half the amount.

Then there’s “W”, that’s to protect all parties, especially me cos if this crazy banshee finds out its me, I’m likely to be shipped back to Africa in a cardboard, Pizza box. Anyways, this W is worse then the real W, you know George W. In fact George W looks like friggin Einstein. No Einstein and Copernicus. No Einstein and Copernicus and Da Vinci. No Einstein and Copernicus and Da Vinci and Newton. Ugh. You get my drift. Anyway…fun with W….hmm that should be the title of a book. See W read, Read W, Read – oh, wait, you cant….

Alright so I actually have a space moment to update you. You should be thrilled, normally when I have some spare time I shower or use the um…”facilities”, but I guess those are now relegated to luxuries along with food and sleep. I feel that daily I am being transformed into one of the Borg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borg_(Star_Trek)) willing to become a mindless slave to the joys of powerpoint, excel spreadsheets, data modeling and all the other things that would get you stuffed into a locker or um…”facility” at high school.

I never realized that simple pleasures like eating KFC, double greased artery filler rounders would be so missed. The good news, is that I am still to indulge in the pleasure of the U.S cultural food – McDonalds. Yes, thus far I have rejected the calls by Ronald and friends to partake in his happy meals and plastic, recycled meat products between buns o “unidentified” wheat product – wait, I don’t think there’s wheat in those buns.

Speaking of buns…Man I am so out of shape. Stupid MBA. No time to do anything. Mind you that’s my own doing too. Like the genius I am (insert sarcastic tone here), I had once again overloaded my plate with more duties than the petrol price. Beside the MBA, I am also trying to lead a change initiative to open clear lines of communication (we won’t use Telkom) between faculty and staff in my role as VP (that’s an abbreviation for Veril Perousus – latin for the Wingnut-is-an-ass-for-doing-more-things-than-he-has-braincells.), am about to start an on campus job and volunteered to be a business consultant for Ghanaian kids in Ghana (yes, I know – shut it). Anyways, what that means in practice is I don’t have time to be a normal person – I know I was very “unhuman” before (not inhuman, those are people to force their pets to wear clothes), but this is bad. Oh well.

Its fun though to be around peers who are just as crazy busy as I am. Normally I’m the only headless chicken running around into cows and sheep. Its quite funny to see all the 1^st years stress about fun topics like company valuations, cost systems, data modeling (I’d prefer to date a model), technology systems, etc. The best part is that we are all doing internship searches now too. It blows being an alien in the US. No wonder E.T went home.

I have applied for like 30 internship positions nothing. Not a thing. Its like looking between our good friend Malema’s ears and seeing darkness and hear the ocean. The best part is that I got a rejection reply for a position I applied for before the deadline was over. That’s like being dumped before you’ve even gone on a 1^st date…Sigh… don’t ask about whats happening on that front either. I’m as unattached as the umbilical cord of a geriatric.

So yes…it’s late, very late in fact to wish you a happy new year. Sorry.

Well, I don’t really mean it and I have reason not to care that I hurt your feelings. 3 letters. MBA. Enough said. Yes. I have been back for two weeks already, and it feels like I never left. Oh the joy of staying up will midnight reading about fashion supply chains, zip that take a month to order, and chicken contact lenses – I am not kidding…Chickens with contact lenses…go figure…

So where has your beloved Wingnut been you ask? I don’t care if you’re not asking, I’m gona tell you anyway! So make yourself comfy, not too comfy, you may fall asleep reading this… or trying to understand what the heck I mean… Or the power may go out…or the aliens may abduct you…hey it is America – the only place that aliens invade apparently.

I left on the 20^th December to travel around the great big US of A. Yes, 6 hours down to Bethlehem. No not that one – that’s Bethel (Note to US People… that’s a place in South Africa where no one lives, well no one significant). Or the other one, where that little guy was born on the day that the guy in the red suit comes and gives you presents if you been good and if you been bad you get to be the head of an African state…or did I get that mixed up? Anyways, I digress…

So from Bethlehem (in Pennsylvania – no not where Dracula is from) I had to Catch a bus to Philadelphia. Now I have been learning JIT (Just in Time: operations system when things get there “just in time” duh) and from personal experience I can tell you that JIT is not good when you want to catch a bus. Mostly cos you end up chasing it. Like I did. From a car. And flagging it down. But at least I got on.

Then from Philly to Baltimore where I met up with my dear “random old uncle from 8 years ago”, also known as ROUF8YA. The worst part was catching an asian bus from Philly to Baltimore, especially when it costs less than a cream and chives bagel. Its even scarier when you wake up just as the bus leaves the stop you should have gotten out of, and then need to stop the bus (again) and get your luggage out of the hold below – in the rain…

Anyway, it was good to see ROUF8YA after all this time. Strange cos besides him being RO and F8YA her was pretty much the same. I went with him to West Virginia with his stepdaughters-husbands-aunts place on a golf course. Nice place. Really fancy pants. Anyway – West Virginia is like the west rand, where the national haircut is a mullet and the national uniform is a short sleeve vest, preferably crocheted, and tight pantses. Anyway, you get the picture. Stayed there for a while and did skiing. Well I watched. I couldn’t afford the money to ski – I have already donated several organs paying for MBA tuition.

Then from there it was onto Washington DC, the nation’s capital. That was an experience. I got to see the White house (will that change names?), Capitol building, library of congress (you may have seen that in “National treasure” ), reflecting pools (Forest Gump), Vietnam memorial and the Washington Memorial. I still don’t know why its an upright Obelisk (Not Obelix, he’s with Asterix, making menhirs). Anyone know? I wonder if it was shorter before they made Viagra…

From Washington DC back to Philly for Xmas. That was kool. I got to spend that with a real good friend that I’ve made here at Babson – apparently she doesn’t know that I’m insane just yet. Anyway, it was really nice of her and her husband to open her heart, home and fridge to me like that over Xmas time. Yum yum, thanks!!! It was kool being a random stranger over xmas and seeing how much fun Xmas can really be…and how many little Greek pastries one person can eat…impressive…

From Philly to Chicago, the foggy city. Yes. Foggy. Like what you see in a sauna. No wait that’s steam. Anyway, it was nice of United airline to cancel my flight. I’ve always wanted to spend 8 hours in an airport on Boxing day, then try fight for a place on the next flight. Oh well. Nice place Chicago – weird temperature though, hot one day, cold the next. I had a good time there at a Christian conference. No jokes about that – I need to make it to the pearly gates! I;ve already paid for the timeshare up there and I’m not going to get a deposit back if I forfeit.

Then from Chicago to New York for new years! Yay! Except….yes…missed flight…I hate airports, more than Jacob Zuma hates the judicial system (Note to US people: JZ is in trouble again! No after the last time, no after that time, no after that time…yes…that time). Or Malema hates reading (Note to US people: Malema is like 35 and leader of the “Youth” league…ironic, I know…actually that’s about right, cos he has the mentality of 4 year old). Anyway, NY was good and I got to be in times square with another million people as the ball dropped! No Michael Jackson was not there. It’s something that you see on TV every year and it was awesome being there! It was kool cos we got in just before Midnight, as opposed to the suckers that waited there since midday! How do you hold in your pee for 12 hours?! Sheesh….urine poisoning is not fun…especially when the temperature was 1 degree farenheit…yes…1…uno…ein…3-2…. How friggin cold is that!

Shew….so that’s the synopsis of my two week trip. Along the way there was a lot more that I never wrote about…Like how in two weeks, only one person got that I’m from SA with the other 1,297,217 thinking I was from Aussie or England. I suppose the plus side is that a number of others believe I’m a prince from Zamunda…

Anyways….I need to get back to work…chicken glasses await! But before I go a big thanks to my mates that made my two weeks possible. In the interests of national privacy their names will not be revealed…so here we go, in no particular order…Thanks to the following people – Lifejacket dude, Robo Knees, “the KWong”, Yum yum, Who won, Red and you…for reading this…I’m such a suckup. Oh while I’m at it, I may as well introduce some of my other mates at Babson, in no particular order (and sorry if I forget you) – Big D, Uncle EQ, Indian Connery, Harpoon Canadian, Turk 1, Turk 2, House, DL, DB, Smiley, Big Green, Other South African, Strategy guy, Little Mulligan…who else…I cant remember them all…

anyways….happy 2009 to you, may you never have to run after a bus, sit in one that smells of urine, miss a plane, experience 1 degree Fahrenheit temperatures, or have to read a case study about chickens wearing glasses and contact lenses!!!!

Ugh… it’s been a while since I last wrote something here. I have no excuse. Forgive me? Whatever, I don’t care if you do.

So what’s been happening in the life of the Wingnut? Lots. And lots more. And a little more. For starters the reason why I have barely surfaced is that I am now ¼ MBA (that’s 25%, duh), yes ladies and gentlemen I am now more qualified than 99.99966 of SA’s parliament to run the country (coincidently that’s the same value as six sigma), which means that all quality in the current government wouldn’t pass any significant control standards. I’m pretty sure that Checkers (or Stop N Shop here in the US) has a more stringent process than that. I wonder how they COPE…haha…get it (Note to US readers: COPE is a new political party that has broken off from the ANC (leading and controlling party) in SA that is frustrated by their ignorance. I guess it’s like the pot calling the kettle black …haha…get that one!!)

Anyway, I’ve been in recuperate mode for the last week and half. My brain has taken a severe beating in the last 4 months – think Bulls, English rugby team or for the U.S. dudes– the Red Sox (Oh, I’m gona get it for that one! At least they were close…) I have no idea how I managed to stuff so much into my head without it dribbling from my nostrils. Hmm…maybe that’s what my classmates had; they didn’t have a cold, they had information overload….hmmm…..

Anyways, so what happened the last month since I last wrote to you? Well there were those ghastly exams (yes I still wake up screaming CFO, CFI and CF…what was the last one?) and then the dreaded BCAP – Bastard Crap Assh*le project… and that’s the French version. Why was it so painful? Team dynamic. Dynamic as in Dynam-mite…explosive…bang ….oww… at least that’s how bad it was for several of the other groups so I hear. No seriously, mine was good. It was. And they tolerated me. I’m surprised they didn’t deal with me Zimbabwe style… You know they same way Zim claimed that Cholera was a British attempt to get rid of uncle Bob. Speaking of which. I AM NOT A POM, OR AN AUSSIE, OR A KIWI…I am proudly South African….damn fools….I know I don’t look like one, yes, I am aware I look like I am from Asia, that’s cos I originally was, but I am South African… And yes, for the last time South Africa is a country, not a state in the country of Africa…idiots…

So anyway…BCAP was fun…like seeing a dentist to have a root canal without anesthetic (yes I’ve had that) it’s painful…like seeing Margaret Thatcher topless….you’d wanna cry your eyes out. So our group had a novel company…basically financial services. Great time to be in that industry, thanks… I know…it was a good learning experience though, realizing just how little people understand the accent… Maybe I should communicate in sign language. I know there’s at least one symbol that’s universally understood.

So what else? Thanksgiving. That was kool. I really enjoyed that. I actually felt like a real person eating a helpless bird. It was great. Thanks American friends for inviting me to so many different parties. I really am lucky to know a great bunch of people like you *sniff sniff*…seriously, it was so nice and homely, eating cheese and drinking wine (not me…), I felt like a real person not a lab rat reading papers, journals, etc. I can tell you what though, that chemical in turkey -Tryptophan (amino acid, meaning that the body can’t manufacture), makes you sleepy. I’m gona cull me a couple of turkeys (no not the ones with the moon and star on red flag) and make some sedatives for some of my stressed class mates – yes you know who you are!!!

Yup you guessed it - SNOW!!! Yippee, snow! Yes, the heavens opened up and rained down white stuff! It was glorious! Absolutely wonderful…I was like a little kid…more than usual!!! Heheh…snow makes me happy. And it’s the real stuff, not the 2 inches of frozen slush we get in SA (yes, I used inches…I need to get used to the Yankee system). We were supposed to get more, but there was none forthcoming. I am guaranteed by the locals that more will be coming and when it comes I’ll be sorry. Mostly when it gets cold, wet and muddy…I laugh…I’ve been in Joburg downtown when it rains, same thing.

ON a more serious note. There was something called an “ice shower” here 2 days back. Not good at all, basically the ice messed things up really badly. Trees fell, power lines got cut out, no heating. Something like 1.2 million affected. Not kool. I really hope those dudes are OK. It’s cold out. I mean really cold… like -10 degrees centigrade. Kinda like one of my ex’s…oooh….I still get the shivers….

So what’s the plans for Xmas for me? Well thanks to the Rand’s spectacular demise by 45% since I got to the US (like Mccauley Culkin’s career – remember him) I can’t afford to come home or go to the UK (to perfect the Stewie accent). Instead I had planned to stay here at Woodlands and chase the squirrels in the snow. As entertaining as that may be, instead I have managed to schedule a killer 2 weeks by seeing something like 5 states(or cities, I duno whatever…) in 15 days. How? I duno. Anyway, I’ll be hitting Philadelphia, Baltimore, Virginia, Chicago and New York, and hopefully spending New Years in Times square when the ball drops… looks good on TV, let’s hope it’s as good in person.

So that’s me, and what I can remember has been happening in the last month. I’ll be sure to write something soon about my jolly travels…and I’ll also be keeping count of how many people think I’m a pom or Aussie….Idiots…