So todays post finds me in a rather pensive mood (deep in thought, it’s a scary I place I don’t go to often, cos I may never come back). I’m not sure why that is: I managed to find a great internship in Palo Alto, one of the most progressive and beautiful places in the US (start of Silicon Valley), I am doing an MBA at the best global entrepreneurial school, have made some amazing friends and living, what to many, would seem a dream. But perhaps therein lays the dilemma: Not all dreams seem that way while you living them.
Even though I have been away from South Africa for less than a year, I really wasn’t home for the years when I was in SA. I did that trip through South America for 2 months 2 months before I left to do my MBA and the preceding year I backpacked South East Asia for 6 weeks (I think..) It strange; in a way its almost as if I know where home is, but I don’t know where my home is; and I don’t think that will change in any short space of time either as I need to return for my MBA.
And the MBA. I still don’t know how I’m gona get the $$$ to fund for my next year. It’s a tough call – I should never have let that damn leprechaun go – and I’m stuck between a rock and George Bush’s head: I need the cash cos I don’t wana leave my MBA unfinished, it just costs so damn much. And living on budget as tight as a leotard on Queen Latiffa’s ass doesn’t make it any easier, especially not here in Palo Alto, where the cost of a meal is the same as a Zimbo state funeral.
Perhaps it’s a matter of age – I am getting on in years, contrary to my boyishly good looks (“haha, whatever: I hear you giggle), but the grey hairs don’t lie. Mind you, I’ve been getting them from the ripe old age of 14 and I’m guessing that by the time I finish my MBA, I’ll look like a silver back Gorilla, just the hair. Part of the age thing is that the body can’t handle as well as it used to – yeah the machine is getting old – dodgy knees, funny ankle and another pulled hamstring today after 20 minutes of footy.
Finally, it’s the whole “what have I done with my life” thing. Still in the ol’ canoe by my lonesome, still haven’t built up the CV (or resume to my US friends), well, not with any kind of long term consistency. Don’t have a house, or a car, or even a bicycle. Sigh. Duno what I have really done with my years.
I duno. Maybe its just an entrepreneur thing and I know I go through these cycles, but damnit, it sucks worse than a $5 special.
Anyways, if you’re reading this for the 1st time, don’t make it your last – or a kitten will have to be drowned. Haven’t written a solemn post like this in a while, hoping the wingnut will be back next time – but for now I’ll be just plain old Craig. Sigh…
June 25th, 2009 at 9:13 am - Edit
I know what ya mean about “doing something with your life” other than being a social sponge in any society. Be expectant, I am, now let us see where it gets us. ; )
June 27th, 2009 at 9:59 am - Edit
Craig I sent you a rather lengthy email but I wanted to add this onto your blog, in the hope that all your other mates could read this and maybe lend a helping hand. I know how you’ve been searching for additional funding to finish your last year of MBA. You’ve got some great mates and I’m wondering if they feel like they’d like to make a contribution, even if it’s a small contribution to your studies? I’m guessing with a small amount from each of us, combined we could help in a big way??
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